The Resurrection of Goryukhin
VICTOR LIAPIN
The Resurrection of Goryukhin
Translated by Ivan Lyapin
«You should just love these people. And love endures everything”
Contact the author at:
Email: snybegemota@yandex.ru
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/victor.liapin
Site: http://lit.lib.ru/editors/l/ljapin_w_w/
THE CHARACTERS:
Lavrenti Petrovich Goryukhin, a dweller of a small country Sentsovo, 50 years old
Makarych (Ivan Kokurin), 60 years old
Nicolas Shalyapin, of uncertain age
Nicolas Portnov, a district police officer
The action is taken place in Sentsovo. It’s midsummer.
SCENE 1.
It’s evening. A country alley. A fence. Behind the fence, not later than yesterday, the house of Goryukhin stood out in all its beauty. But now – there’s nothing but a foundation. In front of the fence – there’s the family.
AUTHOR’S NOTE. The most prosperous resident of Sentsovo, a meanie and a lone wolf, Lavrenti Gorykhin had the imprudence to fall ill. He lived, he lived for a long time, then he fell ill and died. Precisely on May 1st.
To be more exact, he didn’t die. He just fell into a lethargic sleep. But should have the first-aid man got outside of it, especially on a feast day?
So, the burial service was quickly read and Goryukhin, to the clinking of glasses, was hastily buried, not to rain on people’s parade.
… But next day, towards night, amazing things started…
Several man-figures are running through the alley.
GORYUKHIN. Bastards!...
SHALYAPIN. Help! ...Wicked one!... My God, Mother of God!...
CORYUKHIN. I’ll kill you!... Kill you!... You, jerks!... You, bastards!...
MAKARYCH. God forbid, Lavrenti, it’s we!...
SHALYAPIN. Portnov! ... Portnov! ... The police!... Portnov!...
Makarych and Shalyapin are running through the alley, looking back in panic, shovels and ropes in their hands. Furious, ragged, bloodstained and worn-out Lavrenti Goryukhin is chasing them, having only trunks and tank-top on, also with a shovel in his hands. He looks horrible.
CORYUKHIN. I’ll kill you!... Kill ya!... You, bastards!...
Makarych and Shalyapin stumble and fall in front of the bench. Goryukhin stiffens above them. Portnov rushes in.
PORTNOV. Stay put!... Arms on the nape!... You’re trapped!...
…Stay put!... Drop your weapons now!...
Goryukhin drops the shovel down.
CORYUKHIN. What?... Where am I?... Who am I?...
MAKARYCH. Portnov, save and protect, dear! Portnov!...
CORYUKHIN. (Palpating himself) …Me?... Me…
PORTNOV. Weren’t you, God save the mark … buried yesterday?...
CORYUKHIN. Was I?... And where was I?...
MAKARYCH. (Carefully) …There…
SHALYAPIN. …Right there, Petrovich.
PORTNOV. So-o-o-o!... Off you go to the bench! ... Seat down, I say!...
Goryukhin sits down on the bench still fanning himself. Makarych and Shalyapin cautiously take sits on the other side of the bench. Portnov, with the same cautiousness, sits down between them, then takes a notebook and a pen.
PORTNOV. We’ll draw up a protocol, as the phrase goes.
Makarych! (Makarych springs) Down!... From the two you’re more long-headed and, in addition, … (Inspects him) … with marks of violence on the face.
Explain, then, your actions to the investigation!
MAKARYCH. (Nervously) What actions, Portnov?... Just made a small joke, not “actions”!...
PORTNOV. (Strictly) Makarych!...
MAKARYCH. Okay, this is the way it was. We got tangled up at the funeral… of Lavrenti Petrovich, so to say… Kolya, rascal! (Points to Shalyapin) “Half a kilo of gold!... Why waste the good? ...”
SHALYAPIN. What?... I just mentioned – and you ran for shovels. Remember how we talked.
PORTNOV. Don’t butt in!... I’ll give you the floor … Maybe.
… So what gold were you talking about?
MAKARYCH. Well, he has golden teeth. Kept walking and shining about the country! A deceased doesn’t need them, does he?!... (Goryukhin springs) … Who knew? Who on earth knew?
PORTNOV. (Settles Goryukhin) Continue!...
MAKARYCH. Well, that means… Today we headed off when it grew dark… We took a nail puller, shovels, a bottle, well, routinely… So we go… But I felt a queer feeling in the pit of the stomach, fuck my old boots!... Believe it or not – I felt that we’d slip up!... How, I thought, can we slip up? The grave is new, marked… But inwardly – it ached, it tempted…
SHALYAPIN. (Skeptically) Why didn’t I notice that you were tempted?
MAKARYCH. Well, it didn’t surface! It’s beyond your depth!...
So, we kept going… And just before the cemetery – a black cat!... Out of nowhere!... Coal-black. The eyes are burning!
SHALYAPIN. At night they are all black.
MAKARYCH. Black-black!... You said the same at that moment. And where did you get that sign – to asperse a cat’s footprints with vodka?!... (Mimicking) “It’s ten out of ten, Oldy!” … Ah?... Splashed half a bottle! Snotter!
PORTNOV. (Strictly) Makarych!
MAKARYCH. That’s what I’m saying… Write it down…. We found the grave. Then we took off the branches, carefully, we’re not barbarians. Poured one out… But then, when we started to dig it out this sufferer again nipped into with his sign. (He looks at Goryukhin cautiously) “We should spend a penny, - he said, - on the coffin of the decedent…”
Goryukhin springs.
MAKARYCH. We couldn’t, Petrovich, simply couldn’t!... As if it were cut short with fear! So, just like that, without the sign we … pulled you out…
…Tell us, Lavrenti, don’t torture: are you alive or … dead?...
CORYUKHIN. (Bursts out) Yeah, I’m dead! Deceased! A ghost! Uh-uh-uh-uh!...
PORTNOV. … The aid-man did examine you…
CORYUKHIN. Where is that man? I’ll give him hell!
PORTNOV. Well. Not the capital, it’s true. The medicine leaves much to be desired… What was next, Makarych!
MAKARYCH. Nothing. Doomsday. Shalyapin took a shine to the suit. New, foreign-made.
CORYUKHIN. Only two-times-worn. A special order.
MAKARYCH. And I told him: - What good will this suit do you? Not your length, not your size. Leave it to Lavrenti Petrovich – who knows maybe he’ll need it…
SHALYAPIN. (Sarcastically) Oldy! Didn’t you suggest taking him to a health resort, by any chance?
MAKARYCH. (Cap in hand) Do not blaspheme, puppy… All of us will answer for what we do… You noticed little with your young eyes, while I, a man of huge wisdom, kept the protocol in view from the very off… You’d better be kinder to me, Kolya. We’re one gang – you and I.
SHALYAPIN. A plague on you!... What faces us, Portnov?
PORTNOV. The instigator – to the fullest extent of law. The accomplice – somewhat less.
MAKARYCH. (Reacts immediately) …Well, what a mess you’ve made, Shalyapin…
SHALYAPIN. (Stunned) But…wha…you…
PORTNOV. Okay, where is the evidence?
MAKARYCH. What evidence?
PORTNOV. Where’s the tooth, I mean?
MAKARYCH. (Rashly) Ah!... Here it is, lies around in a pocket!... (Takes the tooth out) … Not to miss, so to say.
PORTNOV. Take your tooth, Lavrenti, and go home. I’ll deal with these two myself.
Goryukhin takes the tooth, opens the gate and… stiffens. There is no home.
CORYUKHIN. (Perplexed) …But… where’s my home?...
PORTNOV. (Scratches his head) …Oh, yeah!... I forgot… You see, such a story… As far as you lived solitary, with no heritors, there was a rumor that an authorized agent would come from the town and your property would be seized in profit of state… So… The same night someone took it to pieces… To the last log…
CORYUKHIN. Who?
PORTNOV. Someone.
MAKARYCH. Must be someone alien.
CORYUKHIN. But where’s the car?
PORTNOV. Disappeared.
CORYUKHIN. And the garage?
PORTNOV. As well.
CORYUKHIN. But where were your eyes?!...
PORTNOV. (Makes a helpless gesture) … The element…
CORYUKHIN. (Springs and shouts) I’ll show you, mark my words! I’ll lock you!... Thieves!!! Monkeys!!! (Clutches his heart, falls down)
SHALYAPIN. (Palpates Goryukhin) … Seems not to breathe…
PORTNOV. Take him quickly, carry him.
SHALYAPIN. Where?
MAKARYCH. Take him, he said! Why argue?! Take his legs! Not so, despot! Go!
Makarych and Shalyapin drag Goryukhin.
PORTNOV. Where’re you going?
MAKARYCH. To the cemetery.
PORTNOV. Idiots!!!
MAKARYCH. But where then?
PORTNOV. Drag him to your home! Quicker! Hold on, I’ll help you.
MAKARYCH. Tooth, we lost the tooth!...
PORTNOV. Damn, what a devil with him!
MAKARYCH. We’d better cure him.
PORTNOV. Yeah. Here, take the tooth, Makarych. Go to old Morokha, tell her that it’s from me. This tooth can cost a half of case of vodka. And then in a flesh to Shalyapa!
MAKARYCH. I got it. (In no time disappears with the tooth)
PORTNOV. Bend down, Shalyapa. (Loads Goryukhin onto Shalyapin) … Come on!...
SHALYAPIN. You’d better help me.
PORTNOV. Go, go! Not made of sugar…
They leave.
SCENE 2.
The Shalyapin’s apartment. The kitchen. Goryukhin, Portnov, Makarych and Shalyapin are at the table.
SHALYAPIN. (Sings with tears in his eyes)
You made my childhood happy,
The sun was shining, the sky was blue.
Mummy, my darling mummy!
I love you, I love you!
MAKARYCH. And where’s your mother?
SHALYAPIN. I turned her out. She went to the neighbor. She reduced me to that. “Again with a lot! Again with friends! But tomorrow you work!” She was nagging, she was always nagging…
… Let us! ... (Chorus)
Mummy, my darling mummy!
I love you, I love you!
PORTNOV. Fellas! I’m drinking with you now, right? But it’s only on official business. And tomorrow I maybe lock you. Can you see it, Makarych?
MAKARYCH. That’s why I love you, Portnov! A smart man you are!... The likes of us!... I remember even when you were a greenhorn – how you got bims to come to my sauna.
SHALYAPIN. Portnov! You, tell me – for what did you lock me up last time?
MAKARYCH. Shalyapa!
SHALYAPIN. No, let him say!...
PORTNOV. It was not me – it was the crowd who locked you up.
SHALYAPIN. (To Goryukhin) I just decided to take a bath. And the main thing – I was absolutely sober!... Is it my fault that I like to sing?... Petrovich, I so much wanted to sing – awfully!...
PORTNOV. At two p.m.?
SHALYAPIN. At two p.m. All the singers, for your information, fly with the owl… I was in the bath – and I started to sing!... And the neighbors called the police! From the bath - right to the sobering up room!... Tell me, Portnov, for what?... Where is such a law that a man is not allowed to sing in his bathroom?
PORTNOV. A law? I am your law!... Don’t push it, Shalyapa. Or tonight you will concertize for free at the same place.
CORYUKHIN. Don’t quarrel, folks!... The heart bleeds!...
MAKARYCH. Sure, it bleeds… It’s coming to itself, hapless…
… Writer Gogol, you see, Nickolai Vasilievich, they say, he was buried in the same way. He fell asleep, but people thought he died. In a year they dug him out, just to make sure that everything’s alright, and he laid, turned over in the grave, and all nails were torn and the casket door too. He tried to get out but he couldn’t….
Everyone is mechanically looking at Goryukhin’s nails.
SHALYAPIN. Nails are alright.
MAKARYCH. We came in time.
CORYUKHIN. There was Lavrenti Goryukhin and there is no Lavrenti Goryukhin anymore. Ah, old fellows? And the world hasn’t turned topsy-turvy – no earthquakes, no catastrophes, no tsunami!... Lavrenti Goryukhin laid in the cold ground and he was not forgotten only because of the golden tooth…
MAKARYCH. Be glad that we kept in mind at least something about you. And what about the others?...
A pause. They think about it.
SHALYAPIN. Why do wealthy bastards always have privileges?... My father-in-law was buried. There were exactly zero golden teeth! ... And no one had the idea to check him up…
PORTNOV. (Hiccups) It seems to me that a little more and you go to turn over all the cemetery.
CORYUKHIN. You’re my be-ne-factors!!! Be-ne-factors!!! (Starts weeping)
SHALYAPIN. Do you see it, Portnov? You say – “lock up, lock up”… But look! Maybe the people should be decorated with orders…
PORTNOV. You can have it both ways.
Goryukhin determinately gets on his legs.
MAKARYCH. Where’re you going, Lavrusha? ...
CORYUKHIN. Thank you, my friends! My darling! I’ll start a new life!... I realized it, I woke up, it dawned on me!...
… I’m leaving. Going into convent. I’ll pray for forgiveness, bless you… And do not hold me off.
SHALYAPIN. We won’t, Lavrusha.
CORYUKHIN. Good by, brothers!
PORTNOV. Good by, friend. (He took a bottle of vodka away from Goryukhin’s pocket, he’d put it there in no time)
Goryukhin opens the door and dissolves in the night.
EPILOGUE
AUTHOR’S NOTE. Lavrenti Goryukhin didn’t get to any monastery. The rest of the night he spent at the cemetery.
Two days later he took to court the first-aid man, Portnov, Makarych, Shalyapin and the whole country.
… Shalyapin was convicted to be the principal accused…
THE END.
